Hidden or Hiding

After writing Hidden not Forgotten it only seemed necessary to write a Part 2 for all those who have gotten pretty comfortable with being hidden.

Yes, I am the first to admit that that has been me. I've gotten through the times of being jealous, of wanting to be in the spotlight, of wanting to be 'known' and came to the point where I was quite happy to be hidden forever.

But you know what I didn't realize, is that it’s when you become humbled - that is when God isn't just going to leave you hidden but is now going to exalt you.

Yes, now is about the time I started to freak out a little. But God, I kind of like being 'incognito', I like being under the radar, you know I don't want it to be about me! And you know what he said back to me?

'Because it's not about you, I'm going to make it about you'. 'Because you exalt me, I will exalt you'.

I was speechless and over the coming weeks it was the strangest feeling to have people suddenly recognizing and encouraging me for things I had been doing for years. I didn't get it or know how to receive it at all.

I felt defeated in a way because 'God I thought the whole point was for me to not receive recognition, you know I don't care about that, I just want you to get the glory!'. I started to retreat, I started to fall back into hiding but this was self not God imposed!!

I kept questioning myself, fearing that by stepping out I was 'asking for the glory'. I was hesitant because even though I knew that God had called me, I kept arguing with God telling him 'No, I'm not ready!'.

But what I really was saying was 'God, I don't know if these visions will come to pass in the way that you've shown me!'. I was scared and still am at times, that I'll just fall flat on my face and people will say 'I can't believe that you thought God would use you in that way!'. I'm sure I'm not the only one - right?!

BUT I had to remind myself that if I had my way, the dreams I would have for my life would be so so much smaller, less crazy and would require way less faith!!

SO I KNOW that these dreams and visions can only be from God and he wouldn't give them to me if he wasn't going to bring them to pass!

We also have to realize that God hasn't called us to live in the shadows. It almost sounds self-centered to utter those words but it's about time we recognized that the best ploy the Devil has played, is to get us to believe that the only way God gets the glory is if we are hidden away!!

Why do you think that creative people have been so attacked, with the church believing that lights, sound, dance, drums shouldn't be used?! With so many told that the attention will be drawn away from God if they do?!!!!

I know that despite growing up in churches that have celebrated creatives - I had even started to believe this lie. I got so caught up in what people would think if I told them the dreams God has given me because I know it can be so easy for man to look at the outward appearance and not see the heart!

Just like when I was younger and found a love for public speaking, people used to make fun of me and think I was so conceited! Over time I would bring it up less and less in conversation because I had learnt that most people hated being in front of people or on stage.

So for the longest time I thought, 'God why have you created me like this!! Why can't I just be like everyone else?'

Honestly, this was one of the main reasons I avoided starting a blog for so long. I thought - 'Yeah I enjoy writing but who would want to read it?' and 'I don't want it to just be my own words, God - I want them to be from you'. 

So whilst I thought this meant it would never happen, instead God kept giving me so much revelation that I had no choice but want to share it! It wasn't about being qualified in the eyes of man, God only cared about my heart.

That was when he reminded me of David and Esther who came out of nowhere and were so unqualified in the eyes of man. But God still chose to exalt them and put them in a position of recognition because they brought glory to HIS NAME!!!

I don't know who I am speaking to but I know that just as you are being called out into the spotlight - you sooo want to stay hidden in the wings! BUT you have to know that God sees your heart and the very reason he wants to put you in the spotlight is because you will glorify his name, not your own!!!

Now is the time to let go and trust him. Trust that he has been preparing you, teaching and training you for this very moment! So stop hiding and walk out onto the 'platform' God has given YOU!!!